Sometime ago I overheard a conversation between two young women about how men today is lacking and oftentimes come looking for a handout.
I find that this might be the exception in some cases but DEFINITELY not the rule. Let’s discuss the rule. THE RULE should be we give equally in a relationship not one man/woman steering the ship. If he is the bread winner what’s wrong with being the home maker? Therefore creating a balance…I’m not saying ignore women rights,you see a relationship is a job in itself and can only succeed when both parties are committed wholeheartedly. It is true that the raging fires that sets your heart ablaze in the first 3-6 months have the potential to become just a flickering ember.It is up to the individuals to make sure that hickory logs is keeping the fire ablaze!
Many folks I’ve spoken to said that they no longer go out on date nights or even dress up to impress their significant other. Have you ever seen a peacock in all its glory? As beautiful and REGAL that bird is it still spreads it’s enchanting tail to attract the attention of a potential mate. We are the ones who are guilty of throwing water on our own fires without realizing until it is too late.Then there’s the black women who berate their black men by stating he’s no good. I’ve heard this phrase roll off the tongue of women who are caught up in their emotions or ideas of what a black man should be. If a man doesn’t value the relationship or add to your life why do you stay? When last have you reminded him why you chose him? When last you told him you love him just because? When last you hugged him assuring him there is safety in your arms? Compliments makes anyone feel good and it goes for both parties involved.
I once had a conversation with my father about the men that I was choosing always falling short of my expectations. I recall his response being…”perhaps you are shopping in the wrong aisle for the thing you’re looking for and if you’re in the right aisle then the problem is you.” We are ensnared by the words of our mouth and the meditation of our hearts said the great Bob Marley!
You see what we say about our husband, partner or significant other consciously or unconsciously will manifest itself, and while you may be very disappointed with the outcome please know it is exactly what you spoke into existence.
There is someone out there willing and quite able to love you FLAWS and all. If you have been stuck in the vicious cycle of relationships that derails before it gains momentum then first make sure you are attracting the man/ woman you want to spend your life with.
Before Mr/ Mrs wonderful arrives look at your cup ( representation of your life ) see if it is full enough to pour into someone else. You must bring something of value to a relationship. I’m not speaking about material or monetary things. Interveiw your own self and ask would I date me/or would I marry me?
If you fall short on your answers REPOSITION yourself and start again.
I said all that to say this a man will only give what is require of him and a woman will only stay around if she knows you’re capable to provide for the well-being of her heart, soul and home.